Toksyczny perfekcjonizm – jak wyjść z pułapki bycia idealnym?

Perfekcjonizm jest na ogół uważany za cechę pożądaną, często postrzeganą jako niezbędną do osiągnięcia jakiegoś sukcesu. Znaczenie bycia perfekcyjnym podkreśla się w pracy czy w szkole. Niekiedy jednak, gdy występuje w nasileniu może zacząć oddziaływać negatywnie na funkcjonowanie, a nawet przerodzić się w zaburzenie obsesyjno-kompulsywne.

Jak rozpoznać u siebie oznaki toksycznego perfekcjonizmu i w jaki sposób sobie pomóc?

Przyczyny negatywnego perfekcjonizmu

Nie bez znaczenia są predyspozycje genetyczne, jednak za rozwinięcie się perfekcjonizmu w znacznym stopniu odpowiada otoczenie oraz sposób wychowania. Wskazuje się, że do powstania tego zaburzenia przyczynić się mogą: nieustanna krytyka ze strony rodziców, stawianie dziecku nadmiernych wymagań, porównywanie jego osiągnięć z osiągnięciami rówieśników. Na rozwój toksycznego perfekcjonizmu mogą wpływać również zachowania związane z nadmiernym śledzeniem mediów społecznościowych i stawianie sobie oglądanych tam obrazów za punkt odniesienia.

Jakie objawy mogą zaniepokoić?

Negatywny perfekcjonizm cechuje się dążeniem do przesadnej kontroli nad wszystkimi sferami życia. Pomimo rozlicznych wysiłków podejmowanych przez perfekcjonistę do uczynienia każdej z tych sfer doskonałą, jest on zawsze nieusatysfakcjonowany rezultatami. Podczas gdy pozytywny perfekcjonista wyznacza sobie cele, ciężko pracuje by je osiągnąć, a poniesione porażki nie odbierają mu poczucia jego własnej wartości, toksyczny perfekcjonista koncentruje się przede wszystkim na uniknięciu porażki, rozpamiętuje błędy, nieustannie się osądza, co prowadzi do spadku poczucia własnej wartości.

Podejmowane działania przynoszą tylko chwilową ulgę, gdyż odczuwanie satysfakcji z różnych obszarów życia jest u toksycznego perfekcjonisty niemożliwe. Niejednokrotnie chorobliwy perfekcjonizm prowadzi do zaburzeń odżywiania na skutek dążenia do osiągniecia idealnej sylwetki albo też do stanów lękowych czy nawet depresji. O rozwoju omawianego zaburzenia mogą świadczyć takie cechy jak ciągłe poszukiwanie aprobaty i uznania czy nadmierna wrażliwość na krytykę, a także stawianie nierealistycznych wymagań innym ludziom, co w oczywisty sposób wpływa na pogorszenie relacji z nimi.

Jak uwolnić się od toksycznego perfekcjonizmu?

Spróbuj wprowadzić w życie i stosować poniższe wskazówki, a szybko możesz odczuć pozytywne zmiany.

  1. Pozwól sobie na błędy i spójrz na efekty swoich działań z większą wyrozumiałością. Nie oceniaj się wyłącznie po rezultacie, daj sobie przestrzeń na myślenie, że nie każde zadanie musi być wykonane na 100%.
  2. Staraj się znajdować każdego dnia pozytywne aspekty sytuacji, które wywołały Twoje niezadowolenie z powodu braki idealnego efektu.
  3. Jeżeli komentujesz własne swoje zachowania w negatywny sposób, czy to w myślach czy słowami, natychmiast je koryguj i w każdym takim wypadku próbuj powiedzieć sobie coś miłego, wspierającego, doceniając swoje doświadczenie zdobyte w celu osiągnięcia danego rezultatu, nawet jeśli nie okazał się idealny.
  4. Koncentruj się na swoim rozwoju, byciu jak najlepszą wersją siebie, jednak bez nadmiernego myślenia o opinii innych osób – działaj i rozwijaj się dla siebie, to wzmocni Twoje poczucie wartości zamiast uzależniać je od czyjejkolwiek oceny.
  5. Każdego wieczora wypisz 3 rzeczy, za które jesteś wdzięczna/y – to pomoże Ci docenić jak wiele masz, jak wiele osiągasz, nawet jeśli wyniki Twoich przedsięwzięć odbiegają nieco od Twoich wcześniejszych planów.

Możesz również zdecydować się na kontakt z psychologiem. Psychoterapia pomoże Ci w wypracowaniu nowych, zdrowych wzorców myślenia, a także wpłynie na podniesienie satysfakcji z życia.

390 odpowiedzi na “Toksyczny perfekcjonizm – jak wyjść z pułapki bycia idealnym?”

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  134. Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates. I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this. Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.

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